What's your flavor?

In some circles there has been a slight uptick in the discourse of sexual terminology.  This is mainly between the BDSM community and, essentially, “everyone else” in the world. What is the cause of this debate? Is it trying to make nipple claps the newest fashion trend in high school? Is it a fictional petition to replace the national anthem with Rihanna’s song S&M? That would be hilarious but, no. Then what is the issue?

According to the bitchmedia post Thinking Kink: Is vanilla sex boring? Who gets to decide? It relates to the use of the term “vanilla” in regards to non- kinky sex. The author of the post, Catherine Scott, wrote,” Vanilla was a term intended to simply differentiate between sexual preferences, but it was not necessarily meant to put down or diminish the value of non-kinky lifestyles.”

Is vanilla bad? If you think the answer to this is “yes” then you really should go back and read my post on Sexual Landscapes. Vanilla is not bad. In fact it is the furthest thing from it. That which is termed “vanilla” is as crucial to our overall sexual experience as genetic variation is to the survival of the species.

Over-dramatic? Not really. There are certain details that most people forget when they use the term negatively.

Everything starts with vanilla. It is highly unlikely that most kinksters actually had the first ever sexual experience decked out in latex and studded collars. Fetishes need to be discovered and nurtured.  They do not just spontaneously evolve.

Everything is just a variation.  For the most part the mechanics are the same. Pleasurable stimulation is applied to areas of the body. The only thing that changes is how the stimulation is administered.

Even vanilla has variations. Any one that bakes knows that there are different types of vanilla.  Just like in sex there are acts that are classified in the vanilla category that can bring about different sensations.

Vanilla is arbitrary. Since there is no actual definition for “vanilla” as it pertains to sexuality its meaning is dependent on the tastes of the person using it.

If vanilla has no meaning why write about it? Well, even the kinkiest people like a little vanilla ice cream on the side.